MONICA ROWLAND ~ Creator, Visionary, Blog Addict
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Sunday
15Mar2009

How Are You Wired?


http://stevewoodruff.wordpress.com

Last week, in my Sunday School class for young teens, we were in the middle of a discussion about Joseph (11th of Israel’s 12 sons), one of the more amazing men of character found in the Bible, and quite a shrewd businessman and administrator.

Part of the reason that Joseph’s star rose so quickly in the eyes of all who worked with him was his outstanding competence in two critical areas. He was wired for excellence not only as a manager, but as a leader.

wiring

I explained to the kids that most of us will tend to find our best effectiveness in one of three main categories; and while some may be quite gifted in two, our internal “wiring” will predispose us toward either leading, managing, or doing.

Leaders typically look around and see what is not yet, but could be, and are restless to make the “could be” happen. They tend to be more visionary, like to break fresh ground, and (often quite naturally) “activate” others. Most entrepreneurs, of course, have leadership wiring.

Managers excel at taking the roadmap, and orchestrating the people to move forward together toward the vision. They organize, administer, delegate; and they know how to turn large goals into achievable tasks. Smart entrepreneurs find great managers once a company and its offerings begin to take shape.

Doers aren’t particularly gifted at big picture thinking or being on stage, nor do they necessarily want to spend their energies getting others to do their work. They just want to focus on the task at hand, and if given the right tools and opportunity and “space” to perform, will excel at producing specific results. Think about craftsmen, who can come in, measure your kitchen, select the materials, design beautiful cabinets, and install them flawlessly, and who would actually resent it if they had to deal with others (who’d slow them down).

Any company, organization, or other grouping needs all three types of people. Joseph became second-in-command in the nation of Egypt because he was, first of all, an amazing administrator, but also showed himself to be a visionary leader.

I’m convinced that much work-related misery could be avoided if people understood that professional advancement is not, in many cases, moving up a ladder into management. Many very effective salespeople and other “doers” are locked into a scheme whereby they are expected to excel in management as the next professional advancement - and, unless they are wired to both “do” well and manage well (a rare combination), it’s a setup for failure.

Many of those who are wired for leadership are suppressed in an organization doing mundane tasks or managing others when, in fact, they need to be blazing new trails; and this is why so many get fed up with the corporate environment and strike out on their own as entrepreneurs.

We are not infinitely malleable. There is such a thing as basic wiring and plumbing in the human psyche, and while we can each develop in our skills and our abilities over time, we should recognize our core tendencies, and carve out a career path (and a set of expectations) that truly reflect what we’re best at. It may take many years for you to realize what your wiring is, and what your true strengths and trajectory are, but once you do, it can be immensely liberating to say, “I need to break new ground” or “I just want to do my job” and excel according to your makeup.

There’s a fourth category we could discuss - the taker - but that’s a character issue, not a matter of constitutional wiring. The takers don’t contribute so much as detract. We all know about that type of person.

What do you think? Have you found your trajectory, or are you still searching? Are these three categories basically on target, or is there a better description?

Friday
13Mar2009

The Secrets You're Not Telling Yourself

By Martha Beck

Martha Beck

You may not want to get in touch with your messiest feelings—sadness, rage, resentment—but one way or another, they're going to get in touch with you. Martha Beck shows you how to defuse and deal.

"Of course I'm out of my mind," said one of my daughter's friends the other day. "It's dark and scary in there!"

I wish all of us were so honest. Freud's great contribution was the recognition that consciousness holds only a small fraction of the things we know and feel. Beneath this tidy space lie the subconscious and unconscious levels of thought—cavern systems containing hidden labyrinths and spooky creatures. It's a place most of us avoid, pushing away dark thoughts in a process known as repression.

The problem is that, as therapists like to say, "What we resist persists." The further we withdraw from difficult issues, the more likely they are to spill out. The only way to keep this from happening is to go spelunking in our own forbidden, forbidding depths.

The Things We Almost Know
Repression sometimes occurs involuntarily—for instance, when soldiers in battle experience so much pain and fear that they psychologically dissociate and later have a flat, emotionless memory (or no memory at all) of the event. Most repression, however, involves an element of choice. This is not the kind of explicit decision-making we use to solve intellectual problems but the conditioned avoidance of psychological pain.

This can be exhausting, because the mind doesn't like hiding things from itself. We often deal with this by keeping our attention riveted on other things: eating, shopping, work, television, alcohol—anything but quiet relaxation. The best long run result we can hope for is chronic stress; the worst, flat-out breakdown.

To figure out whether you may benefit from mental cave diving,take this quiz.

Five Steps to Express What You've Repressed

The antidote to repression is expression. Here's a five-step process to help your conscious mind tunnel through the walls of denial.

Step 1: Set up a buddy system
You wouldn't explore an uncharted cave alone, so start by making an appointment to go mind-spelunking with someone reliable. If your score on the quiz is high, this someone had better be a therapist. If your score is low or moderate, make plans to go through the steps below with a trustworthy friend or significant other.

Step 2: Dig for the truth
Now you're going to shine a light around your mental grottoes by answering the following questions. Be absolutely honest, but don't over think your answers.

  • What do I almost know?
  • What do I almost feel?
  • What would I want to do if it weren't forbidden?
  • What am I tired of hiding from myself?
  • What really happened, though I act as if it never did?
  • What is it that my family and I all know but no one ever talks about?

If you have very little repressed mind matter, your honest answer to each question might be "nothing." But you may uncover a shocker.

Step 3: Shine the light of words
The recipe for releasing buried demons is simple: Know what you really know, feel what you really feel and say what you really mean. It doesn't matter if the words you use to reveal the truth are written or spoken, poetic or clumsy. As long as they're utterly candid, they create a channel that opens what you know subconsciously to the luminous clarity of conscious thought.

Step 4: Master (non)reaction
Almost by definition, uncovering buried information will expose you to some uneasy sensations. Whatever the feeling, react by not reacting. Hold still and know your new truth. The ability to sit calmly at this crucial moment is your lifeline, your infallible guide back to the safe surface of consciousness. This can be a purely psychological process, or your discovery might require action. Either way, precipitous action will make things worse. For a few minutes, just absorb the truth. Emotion will crest and fade repeatedly, each wave leaving you less fearful and clearer about what to do next.

Step 5: Discover re-covery
Set a limit on your expression session. Less than half an hour usually isn't enough time; more than 90 minutes, too much. About 15 minutes before your time is up, rebury issues that don't require urgent action. That's right, re-repress what you've uncovered. You're not going to forget that it exists or fail to deal with it, but processing can—and usually must—happen gradually.

Tucking away a newly exposed truth is easier than you may expect—after all, you've been storing this knowledge out of consciousness all along, so you have a nice hidey-hole for it in your mind. Close your eyes and see the issue you've uncovered. Put it back into the nook it occupied until a few minutes ago. See yourself covering it with gravel, promising to come back later. Then go back to business as usual. Unless you're dealing with severe trauma—in which case, I repeat, you need professional help—you'll find it weirdly easy to behave as you always have, even if you've unearthed a real stunner.

It takes courage to explore the secret caverns in your mind, but if you do, allowing plenty of time and trusting the process, you'll discover that there is treasure hidden in them. Beneath consciousness lies repression, but beneath repression lies wisdom. The more you let yourself explore the truth about your inner world, mapping the channels your mind has created, the more you will find yourself making good judgment calls, knowing what to do next, feeling purposeful and peaceful. Your life will work more smoothly. You'll have a better effect on the world. And best of all, you'll never again be quite so afraid of the dark.

 

Saturday
28Feb2009

Women Like You Share Strategies to Maintain Balance

In these short interviews, the following women entrepreneurs were asked to describe their experiences with work life balance.

Amelia Case
, Universal Health Institute, is a doctor whose firm offers a unique combination of drug free, non-surgical traditional and alternative therapies designed to relieve pain and revitalize your life.

Lelani Craig, COMMGAP International Translation Services, has a full service language services agency providing document translation, spoken and signed language interpretation, consulting, testing and training, voice over, and localization.

Kelly Moore, Moore Benefits, Inc., owns a health insurance consulting, brokerage and administration firm for companies with 1-200 employees in Southern California. The company's mission is to make coverage affordable, understandable, and work the way it is supposed to work.

All three women are a Make Mine a Million $ Business Program Awardees.

Amelia Case, Universal Health Institute

What are the top 3-4 things you do to maintain balance in your life?

1. Exercise every day except Wednesday. It takes the stress down a few notches. 2. Date night on Saturdays. We have a sitter even if we don't go out. (Sometimes our date is just sitting at home watching a movie, but knowing that the sitter is there gives it an extra relaxed feeling.) 3. Reading almost every night. Reading is so luxurious. If I make sure I read, I feel like I have all the time in the world. 4. Health Care. Energy Therapy, Massage Therapy, nutritional supplements, and getting chiropractic adjustments make me feel like I am pampering myself and taking good care of myself.

What has been the effect, if any, that your commitment to Work Life Balance has had on your business?

My mood and attitude are better when I honor my life with balance. I am not short-tempered and have a much greater "creativity index". However, getting to my exercise or health care appointments is not easy -- sometimes annoying, in fact. Sometimes I feel resentful that I have to figure out how to fit it all in, even if I know it is balancing my life better (it still seems to be another "something" to do). As I make progress on achieving balance, I wonder how to maintain maximum productivity even when I am not working at my business every moment. For example, I would love to know how to hire someone who would be dedicated and interested to the greatest degree possible -- who would help take some of the heat off of me.

Lelani Craig, COMMGAP Int'l Translation Services

What are the top 3-4 things you do to maintain balance in your life?

I maintain a schedule and keep things in order in the morning. That sets the mood for the rest of the day. After getting the kids up for breakfast and spending some together time, they start off to school and I get in a 30-60 minute workout before leaving for work. The rest of my day also follows a certain path. It's all a choice we make. Like a Boy Scout: Be Prepared! And when the unexpected happens, I can maintain consistency and balance.

What has been the effect, if any, that your commitment to Work Life Balance has had on your business?

When I started my business, I promised that as soon as I walked out of the office, work would stay behind. Time at home is mine and my family's so I have employees who cover after hours and on weekends as needed. Delegate, delegate, delegate.

Positive changes include more quality family time. We always eat dinner together; and I have time to help the kids with their homework and activities. At work, where properly training everyone is a priority, the business has continued to grow and expand and fires are put out without my intervention. Of course, I do have to step in every now and then but honestly, I have done that maybe twice in the last year. Personally, I'm in the best shape of my life, my house is clean, and my business is in order, headed in the right direction.

Kelly Moore, Moore Benefits, Inc.

What are the top 3-4 things you do to maintain balance in your life?

1. Work set hours -- 8:30 am to 5:30 pm M-F; 1/2 day Sunday NO MATTER how behind I get at work. I fear burnout by working long hours, and besides, the work fills to consume whatever time I put in. I know that everything will never be done, I will never be caught up, so I just keep plugging away during the hours I set for myself, and focus on my personal life off-hours.

2. Hire people to do things that I don't want to do. A guy comes and washes my car every other Tuesday morning while I get ready for work. A bookkeeper enters all the deposits, bills, balances bank account, etc. A housekeeper cleans my house every other week. My employees do all the data entry, customer service calls, mailings, etc.

3. Splurge on a personal trainer to come in my home and do strength training 2 times per week early in the morning, since I hate going to gyms. This company also provides a nutrition plan, so I just buy and eat what they advise, and I don't have to plan it all out. These things help me to stay physically fit.

4. Spend my evenings with loved ones. Once I come home, I may write in my journal if I have business on my mind, but I do not work at night. I talk to my mom, watch movies with my boyfriend, walk the dog, have wine with neighbors, play guitar with my friend, etc.

What has been the effect, if any, that your commitment to Work Life Balance has had on your business?

The effect on how I handle work-life balance is that I still love my work after having the business for 6 years; and the negative is that I am always running at full speed during "green time" to keep up. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed at work. The challenge for me is to be able to maintain the sanity of reasonable work hours I have now, even while growing a larger than average business. I'll need to set realistic expectations and learn how to be more productive during work hours, so that as my business continues to grow, I can maintain the balance.

Saturday
28Feb2009

Your Life and Vision


Make it happen!

Put your power to envision the future to work for you. Whether you are just starting out or looking to expand and grow to a million dollar business and beyond, you can call upon an array of Visioning techniques and practices to bring your ideas into reality.

But don’t forget that while you are making your vision a reality, Life is a Balancing Act. Often, our lives are defined by the struggle to find middle ground, to make our way through the tangle of demands and exigencies, while finding fulfillment and purpose and joy in what we do and how we spend our time.

Here you will learn tips and techniques for:

  • Finding your passion and creating your vision
  • Using imagery and visualization techniques to enhance your Visioning power
  • Getting and staying inspired, no matter the stage of your business growth
  • Finding balance in your work and personal life

Learn more and access resources you can put to work in your business today.

Top Challenges (Click on each link for more...)
  1. Defining the "Why" of Your Business

  2. Thinking Big: the Challenge for Women Business Owners

  3. Finding Your Passion

  4. Create a "Stop Doing" List


 

Wednesday
25Feb2009

Eliminate procrastination


The essence of procrastination is very well reflected in this quote by Bernard Meltzer: "Hard work is often the easy work you did not do at the proper time."

Are you affected?

  Have you ever seen your most important tasks being put off until later and then later and later, while you are getting busy with many not so important activities? Did you hope that you may have more time and better mood in the future to start the task and do it properly? Does an approaching deadline mean a crisis for you? Do you keep hesitating every time you make a decision?

If you often see yourself in such low productivity situations, then there is a big chance that your life got under control of the procrastination habit. And those situations are only the most explicit symptoms.

What is it?

A basic definition of procrastination is putting off the things that you should be doing now. This happens with all of us time after time.

Yet, what makes a big difference for your success is your ability to recognize procrastination reasons and expressions in their different forms, and to promptly take them under control, before this bad habit steals your opportunities, damages your career and pride, or destroys your relationships. So why do not you do it now?

Causes of procrastination

What are typical reasons why you procrastinate? Procrastination: Do it now! Here are a few of the most common situations to consider in your anti procrastination efforts.

It can be as simple as

  • Waiting for the right mood
  • Waiting for the right time

Then look at the way you organize your work. You may notice other reasons for procrastination like

  • Lack of clear goals
  • Underestimating the difficulty of the tasks
  • Underestimating the time required to complete the tasks
  • Unclear standards for the task outcomes
  • Feeling as the tasks are imposed on you from outside
  • Too ambiguous tasks

And there are also many connections with

  • Underdeveloped decision making skills
  • Fear of failure or fear of success
  • Perfectionism